In 11 days I will be returning to work and my maternity leave will be over. So much of my life has been divided into HUGE chunks of time and very distinct categories that lead up to very major transitions. For most of 2011, I was pregnant and learning all of the ins and outs of preparing for a baby and being the best mom I could be. On December 19, 2011, that all ended and I crossed over into motherhood and welcomed the most amazing, cuddly little boy into my life, Brady. The inevitable and much anticipated crossover from pregnancy to motherhood was one that I obviously knew was going to happen, but the emotions surrounding the transition and the feelings that go along with it are not any that one can prepare for.
Life with Brady is so raw, so present and so real. Not to say that everything that came before him was “superficial” but that’s the best comparison I can think of. This life of being a mom and having a little boy and loving him so so so much is so amazingly cool. It’s so different than I’d pictured it – so much better than my already awesome vision.
But now again I sit here on the brink of another crossover – from having every waking second with my little tiny baby boy to returning back to work. Being out of the house for so many consecutive hours wearing shoes and clothes that haven’t fit me comfortably in one whole year is scary to me. How will I know what to do and how to act and how will I get all the things that need to be done accomplished? I’m looking forward to regaining a bit of independence but also terrified of the transition and all that will go along with it.