Category: Spiritual Exploration

Inspiration Spiritual Exploration

we are all alone, together

As I’ve grown and discovered ways of the world that resonate with me, some of the most powerful and comforting ideas were at first unsettling. I guess because they were so different than opinions I’d previously held, however, those opinions were of people and family and culture that I am a part of but that are not entirely me. I realize now that I’d felt so very empty for so very long because I had no connection to me, no conversation with my inner knowing, no understanding of what the heck my life was all about.

Ironically, becoming a mother, having someone else depend on me for everything, is what led me to me and these concurrent actions: those of self-discovery and motherhood, blow my mind every time I think of them.

Why did all these changes happen when I became a mother? Someone close to me reminded me that I was well on my way to self-discovery at the time I became a mother, they just collided and both happened at once. Ah, yes, now that she said it, I could understand. I thought motherhood caused this, for me, but it was multi-layered and even a little bigger than just one thing. The stars had aligned.

There are really no things that I am sure of. I’m always learning, evolving and trying to look inward in an effort to feel more connected to my inner light so that I can in turn help those around me feel more connected and at peace. I change my mind a lot and I look at that as a positive thing – an exercise in flexibility.

This journey towards self made me feel alone and sad at times. But I also find comfort in the fact that I have the power to make the changes that are good for me. I have the strength to be the me that I am here to be. I have the courage to create and express myself because I, and I alone, know what soothes my soul and makes my inner light shine brighter than imaginable. I also find comfort in knowing that every single person has the same power, the same strength and the same courage – so when I am supporting someone through a challenge, knowing this (that they have the power) takes away the helpless feeling that creeps up at times because you can’t make changes for other people, only they can.

I’m so grateful for every path in my life that has led me to here and so many people through all the years that have encouraged me to be me. I realize that without them, I’d still be lost without a map. I have my inner map now and I continue to wander.

Family Inspiration Motherhood Spiritual Exploration Yoga/Mindfulness

How Natural Birth Deepened My Yoga Practice

I’ve always been drawn to yoga, even before I “understood” it. Even when I was in high school I wanted to do it, but wasn’t sure what it was all about. I know I practiced yoga when I was younger, but it wasn’t until the past couple of years that I’ve felt connected to my practice. And it wasn’t until after I gave birth to my second child that I felt an even deeper connection.

Preparing for natural birth, I read many books and blogs and did a lot of work to prepare my mind. Breath work, and understanding that breathing is a tool to stay present and not fly and wander, was very helpful to me. I believed the tools would help, but it wasn’t until I was living the labor and doing what I’d been so prepared for, did I fully understand what it all meant. I felt like I was mindfulness embodied, for the first time in my life.

Natural labor and birth were both a challenge and a reward. Now when I am in a pose on the mat that I think I can’t tolerate for one more second, I go back to the breath and the patience that I know I have because I experienced it during labor and birth. I think, “Oh, right, I know how to do this, and this is easier than childbirth!”

In addition, Ujjayi breath has helped me calm a fussy baby, sooth a little one to sleep and find my inner stillness. Also something that I don’t think I’d be so in tune with without my natural birth.

I’m simply fascinated! I had no idea that all the work I did to prepare for a natural birth would have rewarded me down the road into a deeper practice.

Namaste!

Creating Identity Inspiration Simplicity Spiritual Exploration Yoga/Mindfulness

My Primary Interests

On December 11, 2012, a date that I was feeling a little lost in the Universe, I made a list and named it My Primary Interests. They are in no particular order. At a time when I was feeling pretty detached from these primary interests, mainly because I was in a career that was in no way a good fit for me after leaving my kinda-good-fit-career-that-just-wasn’t-working-at-the-time, it felt good to have them in writing and I’d read them every so often to remind me of the things I like to entertain my brain with.

I’m happy to report that I’ve never felt more at home in my career as a stay and home mom/wife and I’m elated, shocked and surprised at how much I’ve settled into the role in such a short period. It’s kinda amazing to me how unstressful and simple some household activities can be when that is what you are mainly focusing on. I still struggle with a lot of the same issues I’ve always had in the anxiety department, however, my life overall has a much more peaceful, simple tone and it feels really, really nice. I can go out of my way to do extra things for people or be extra attentive to people that I love, when before, I didn’t have it in me at times. It’s also interesting to observe that the same behaviors and anxiety triggers exist when you change some major things in your life (like my career 3 times in less than 1 year). It proves that you need to be settled within to be happy and those external things just contribute. I’m still working on settling within, but the evidence is interesting to see and the changes, step by step, were each in the right direction for me. Thank you, Universe, for nudging me along. Sorry it took me a while to catch on that my own home was where I belong on a daily basis, with my baby boy right by my side. It’s actually all I ever wanted, it just took some time to get there.

Without further ado, here are my primary interests (regarding research, reading, potential employment down the road, discussion etc.; some of these things I have very little knowledge of and want to know more, others, I’m an expert.):

  • attachment theory
  • attachment parenting
  • breastfeeding
  • mindfulness
  • mindfulness based cognitive therapy
  • noetic sciences
  • meditation
  • mind-body connection
  • quantum physics
  • management
  • compassion
  • peace
  • neuroscience
  • love
  • arts & crafts
  • anthropology
  • evolution
  • cultural differences
  • motivation
  • Buddhism
  • organic lifestyle
  • sustainability
  • healthy eating
  • consciousness
  • earth
  • time
  • sociology